


need and want

by kenmamiel (killvmiel)



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, i love them sm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25536760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killvmiel/pseuds/kenmamiel
Summary: “Oi, Kenma,” Kuroo called, strolling over to his setter. Seeing the strained look on the other’s face, Kuroo leaned down.“Oi, Kenma,” he repeated, softer this time. Kuroo was used to his friend’s anxiety, being Kenma’s longest friend, and he always knew exactly what to do.The truth is, Kenma thought, eyes still shut: I need him.--Kuroo and Kenma have needed each other from the start. So dealing with their feelings for each other should be easy, right?
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke (implied), Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i’m gay and yearning and love kuroken let’s fucking go  
> the formatting might be a bit wacky apologies in advance
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

“Another lap of dives, let’s go!” Kuroo Tetsurou shouted, clapping his hands together.

Kenma groaned inaudibly and dived yet again. Nekoma had lost another practice game to Fukurodani. Despite his pads, his knees ached, and he was breathing hard. He wiped the sweat off his  
forehead, careful not to displace his carefully tucked hair, and continued.

The way he tucked his hair was Kuroo’s invention. Kenma remembered the day like it was yesterday- a dusty summer afternoon on the playground.

_“Kozume!” Kuroo had called, swinging down from the monkey bars, a tangle of bedhead and bruises. “How am I supposed to see your face if it’s under all that hair?” He landed squarely in front of the shorter boy, and swiped the then-black hair out of Kenma’s eyes._   
_“H-hey.. don’t do that,” Kenma had protested, pulling his hair back over his forehead. “I.. see too much. It’s too much.”_   
_“How about this, then?” Kuroo carefully tucked Kenma’s hair behind his ears, so that his face was exposed but the sides fell over his cheeks._

They were only eight, too young to brood. Something had stirred in him then, something that Kenma couldn’t quite place.

Even though the meds he was eventually prescribed with and his therapist eventually got rid of Kenma’s need for a small field of vision, he still tucked his hair like Kuroo had done that day.

Lev hitting the ground next to him drew Kenma out of his thoughts.  
“I can’t do any more!” the tall boy whined, rolling over.  
“Two more and you’re done the lap, you absolute tin can,” Yaku shouted, kicking Lev in the ribs. “You’re such a drama queen!”

Kenma grimaced. They were so loud. Everyone was really loud.

He finished his lap and stood there, loudness crashing in. Kenma closed his eyes and fought the urge to pull his hair over his face.

“Oi, Kenma,” Kuroo called, strolling over to his setter. Seeing the strained look on the other’s face, Kuroo leaned down.  
“Oi, Kenma,” he repeated, softer this time. Kuroo was used to his friend’s anxiety, being Kenma’s longest friend, and he always knew exactly what to do.

The truth is, Kenma thought, eyes still shut: I need him.

“Do you want to step outside for a bit? I can come with you if you want,” Kuroo’s hair fell in his face as he leaned toward Kenma.

It was a strange thing, to need someone. It was a different thing to want them. Kenma was back on that dusty playground, the same thing stirring in him.

“No, I’m okay,” Kenma answered. He looked up at the taller boy.

“Are you sure? If you don’t want to do another round of dive laps, we need you at your best. I need you at your best; you’re the brain, remember?”

Kenma almost rolled his eyes at Kuroo’s oretachi wa ketsueki da bullshit. But they both needed each other.  
And in that moment, Kenma wanted him too.

Without thinking, Kenma leaned his head on Kuroo’s chest.  
“Oh- hey, okay,” Slowly but not awkwardly, the taller boy wrapped his arms around Kenma, who leaned closer.

They were both slick with sweat and burning up, but there was something that felt so right about this. In that moment, they were alone in that gym, arms wrapped around each other.

Kuroo broke the embrace, face hot.  
“Are you good now? Did that.. help?”  
Kenma nodded.

———

They had lost their last set against Fukuroudani, and Kenma was miserable, sweaty, and exhausted.

Nekoma trudged toward the change room after Bokuto and Kuroo had shaken hands. Yaku and Lev were bickering softly, Yamamoto was going on about Fukurodani’s cute manager, and Kuroo was reiterating some of their good plays.

It occurred to Kenma that maybe he loved his team. Love. What a weird word.

Kuroo always waited for Kenma to finish in the changeroom so he could make a big show about asking to take him home, despite them living literally next to each other.

“Come here often?” he said tonight.

“Shut up.” was Kenma’s consistent reply.

“Do you live near here? It’s getting a bit dark, don’t you think?” Kuroo grinned his best provocateur’s grin. “Perhaps I could... walk you home? Do you take the train?”

Kenma smiled.

Kenma... smiled? To Kuroo, this was a rare occurrence. He never smiled at his dumb pick-ups. But seeing his best friend smile in the haze of the evening, he wanted nothing more than to make it common.

They travelled home in their customary comfortable silence, bumping shoulders. It had been a tough night, and usually Kuroo would be chattering about Bokuto while Kenma zoned out, but tonight he was silent.

Tetsurou couldn’t stop thinking about their embrace.

Kuroo knew a thousand ways to calm Kenma down when his anxiety acted up, but affection had never been one of them.

And it didn’t help that he was in love with Kozume Kenma.

It was just something that he had picked up over their ten years of friendship. No matter how many girls he dated, Kuroo knew that he would always come back to his grumpy blond setter. He had just accepted it, and spent their time together loving Kenma silently. He would get over him eventually. _That’s what you said last year, and the year before that,_ the voice in Kuroo’s head would say. It was the same voice that whispered “ _what if he loved you back? do you want that, Tetsurou?”_ in the dead of nights when he would clench his fists and toss and turn.

Those nights were rare now. Kuroo refused to yearn for something that would never exist. He had just accepted it.

They were only a block away from home now, and Kuroo was pulled out of his thoughts when Kenma let out a noisy yawn. He couldn’t help but notice how cat-like he looked, with his nose scrunched and mouth showing his slightly sharp canines. He looked adorable.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I’m not smiling.” He continued smiling.

Kenma yawned again, drawing his hands out of his pockets. And then slipped Kuroo’s hand in his.

Kenma’s hand was small and cool in his, and Tetsurou’s brain filled with _what ifs_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, captain, what’s got you so red around the ears?” 
> 
> \-- 
> 
> Both of them are confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't have a beta, so apologies for any typos and inconsistent spellings of kuroo's given name.. thanks iphone autocorrect.   
> once again, i hope you enjoy!!
> 
> both of them are dorks

It was 3:24 am, and Kenma was gaming.

He did that whenever he needed to think. There was just something about the brightness of the screen boring into his eyes and the subconscious clicking of buttons that allowed him to reflect on his feelings for Kuroo Tetsurou with greater ease.

Kenma needed Kuroo- no doubt about it. He had known that ever since his sixth year, when his class and the seventh years wear going on a field trip, and his neighbour stayed home sick. Kenma had sat by himself on the bus, cried on the way there, had no fun during the day, and cried on the way back. When his mother asked why he had such a miserable time, Kenma didn’t have an answer.

It wasn’t until much later he realized it was because of Kuroo’s absence.

Kuroo, who helped him study for every test, calmed him down when his anxiety acted up, checked in on him during sleepless nights, and taught Kenma the meaning of the word friend.

But Kenma wanted more from him now- the stirring inside him that had made him take Kuroo’s hand after practice a few nights ago was turning into a sort of burning.

He mashed the buttons of his controller in frustration. This was confusing.

What did he want? Affection had never been a part of Kenma and Kuroo’s friendship, but Kenma found himself craving it. There was so many things he wanted to do to Tetsurou- bury his face in his friend’s broad shoulder, ruffle the bedhead at the nape of his neck, wrap his legs around-

Kenma’s screen flashed black as his character died, and he buried his hot, flushed face in his arms. _What was he supposed to do?_

His phone buzzed, startling Kenma. When he read Kuroo’s name on the screen, his heart started to hammer in his chest.

That was new.

_kur🔘🔘 : go to sleep you heathen!! _

_you first_

_kur🔘🔘 : don’t make me come over there >:( _

_okok fine_

Kenma set his phone down and powered down his console. Even when his shut his eyes so tight they watered, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kuroo. The burning persisted, making his face hot and his brain feel like mush.

_What was he supposed to do?_

_\-----_

It was a warm, golden afternoon after school, the kind that felt like crystallizing honey. The last class of the day had passed with sluggish ease, and when Tetsurou stepped out of his classroom, he found Kenma waiting for him. 

“What’s Pudding-head doing here? You never wait for me,” Kuroo inquired as he approached his best friend, who was hunched over his PSP.

“Oh, Kuroo.” Kenma said, like he wasn’t at all expecting him. He looked nice in the streaming sunlight from the hallway window, his bleached hair warmed golden. “Uh, I just wanted to tell you that I’m not taking the train home with you today. I’m going to Miyagi to practice with Shouyou,”

“Oh, alright. Have fun with Shrimpy. Don’t forget about me,”

“I won’t,” Kenma muttered, rolling his eyes. He stood there for a moment, slipping his PSP into his bag.

“Okay. Uh, bye, Kuroo.”

Kenma wrapped his arms around Tetsurou’s shoulders, pulling him down in a hurried hug that sent him reeling.

He then dashed out of the hallway, leaving Kuroo flustered and completely baffled. He felt like there could be an error window in front of his face.

_Why?_

“Hey, captain, what’s got you so red around the ears?”

Tetsurou regained his composure so he could deal with his teammate.

“Yakkun,” Kuroo deadpanned, glancing down at him. And then up, where Haiba was looming behind Yaku. “Can’t shake your kouhai, I see,”

Yaku glared, and Lev beamed. “We’re hanging out,” the tall boy offered.

Yakkun was the one who looked red around the ears now, and Kuroo smirked.

“Well, have fun on your date, Yaku, Lev.” Nodding at each of them, Kuroo strolled off.

From somewhere behind him came an angry “ _it’s not a date, fucker!”_ and Tetsurou’s sharp laughter echoed in the emptying hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my sister if you're reading this   
> stop finding my fics 
> 
> anyways i love kuroken a lot and i wanted to sprinkle in a bit of yakulev because why not? 
> 
> the next chapter will have hinata in it, and i'll continue updating the tags as i go along!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you ever been in love, Shouyou?" 
> 
> \--
> 
> Kenma and Shouyou said they were going to practice volleyball, but end up working out Kenma's feelings instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm obsessed with the way kenma says "shouyou" so i may have written it more than necessary oops 
> 
> yeah i just wanted that good kenhina friendship content.  
> hope you like it as much as i do!!

Train rides without Kuroo felt lonely, but Kenma was excited to see Shouyou. Despite him not feeling like doing _even more_ volleyball, he was looking forward to meeting with his energetic friend.

Kenma really loved Shouyou’s sunny personality, and Hinata respected Kenma’s quiet resolve and was dedicated to helping him come out of his shell. The two texted often.

When Kenma arrived in Miyagi, Hinata was there at the station. The two walked to Hinata’s house to practice hits in his backyard.

“Thanks for coming, Kenma! I know it’s a bit of a long way from Tokyo,”

“Not a problem at all, Shouyou,” Kenma flexed his wrists, preparing for an evening of setting. “But can I ask why you wanted to practice? Where’s your freak setter?”

“Oh... Kageyama and I got into a little fight,” Hinata said tentatively. “I’m sure everything will be fine by Monday! Plus, it’s nice to see you,”

Kenma smiled, and the two practiced under the setting sun.

They didn’t talk much, but something was bothering Kenma.

“Have you ever been in love, Shouyou?” Kenma asked suddenly, turning to face Hinata.

“Wh-what? That’s kind of a weird thing to ask, Kenma,”

“Just answer the question.”

Hinata rubbed the back of his head, ruffling his ginger hair nervously. “I don’t… think so,” he said tentatively. “I wouldn’t know what it felt like,”

“Hmm.” was Kenma’s careful reply, and he set another ball.

Hinata didn’t go for it. It hit the ground with a _thunk._ “Why are you asking? Does Kenma-san have a love life?” Suddenly curious, the short boy bounded to the Kenma’s side of the court.

He offered Hinata a wane smile. “Hardly,” Kenma gestured for the other boy to sit down next to him. “Well I- I think I might like someone,”

“Ooh,” Hinata exclaimed, fidgeting. That boy couldn’t sit still. It drove Kenma crazy. “I bet there are tons of pretty girls at Nekoma!”

“... Sure, Shouyou.”

“You’re a great guy, Kenma! You should ask her out,”

Kenma considered this. Dates? With Kuroo Tetsurou?

“I don’t think it’s really like that,” he said softly.

This confused Hinata, causing him to fidget even more. “I wanna help you, but I really have no clue about this stuff,” He drummed his fingers on his thighs. “What is it like, then?”

The evening air was still and cool between them, and Kenma was thinking. He thought about the slope of Kuroo’s back, his untameable bedhead, the way his voice sounded when he was addressing the whole team or when whispering to him alone in the dark of nights, when Kuroo bought him the cat mug he’d been eyeing, how he left a note in Kenma’s lunch after Kenma had a panic attack, the way he felt when holding his best friend’s hand, how he-

“It’s like... I’m really in love with them. You know when you’re so close to someone that you _need_ them?”

Hinata hesitated. “Yes,”

“This is like... when you need someone, and you know that you need them, and they’re your friend, but you also want more from them? You want more of them. Does that make sense?”

They sat in silence for a minute, feeling the night breeze as Kenma’s words rang in Hinata’s head. Then he nodded.

“I.. understand. It’s not a girl, is it?”

They were facing each other now, and Kenma forced himself to look into Shouyou’s eyes. “No. It isn’t,”

Hinata’s mouth began to widen as he tried not to grin. “It’s Kuroo, right?”

Kenma buried his face in his hands. “Is it really that obvious?” he said in a small, muffled voice.

“I don’t think so, don’t worry. He’s your best friend, right? You two seem to.. need each other, I guess. He fits the description,” Hinata was really grinning now.

“What should I do?” Kenma lifted his face out of his hands, and felt vulnerable and exposed.

Hinata slapped his back affectionately. “Just tell him how you feel! He’s your friend, right? I’m sure if Kuroo doesn’t return your feelings, he won’t let it ruin your friendship,”

“I guess you’re right.” Kenma wrinkled his nose. “But it sounds so... scary.”

“I think it will be worth it, Kenma-san. It seems to really be bugging you,”

“... When did you get so smart, Shouyou?”

“I don’t know? Was that smart? Well, I get hit in the head a lot. Maybe it did something good, for once.”

The two laughed and leaned against each other, and Kenma didn’t feel quite so lost and confused.

“Shouyou?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

A pause.

“Then can I tell you about Kageyama?”

“Go ahead, Shouyou.”


End file.
